Wednesday, May 04, 2011

The Horcruxes of ZNZ, Part Two

CUTE WOMBAT GOOD HORCRUX.
After much thought, I have concluded that making a Horcrux out of a living creature is a moronic thing to do. I mean, sure, it might be fun for a while to have part of your soul living in, say, a wombat. It's cute, it's fuzzy, it's great. But what happens if your Horcrux runs away? What happens if your Horcrux gets run over by a truck? There are too many variables. 
This is why Horcrux #2 will not be a cute and fuzzy wombat. 
Horcrux #2: The Mona Lisa. 
Isn't she smiley?
I did not draw this picture. It's by some dude called Leo. 
The Mona Lisa isn't my favourite painting. It doesn't have any huge significance for me, any meaning in my past. It's not a symbol of one of the four founders of Hogwarts. It has no wombats in it. That's the difference between Moldyshorts and me: He's all sentimental about these things. I think strategically. 
Because the Mona Lisa will be a great Horcrux. Why? Well, for starters, like I said before: it's not obvious. It doesn't have any huge significance for me, any meaning in my past. It's not a symbol of one of the four founders of Hogwarts. It has no wombats in it. But for another, more important reason: Even if they do figure it out, nobody wants it to be stolen or destroyed. Wikipedia-Source-Of-All-Knowledge says it's protected by bulletproof glass. Can you imagine what would happen if Larry tried to destroy it? First he'd have to get into the Louvre. I don't think they let people into museums carrying giant swords. So maybe he'll hide it in Hermione's bag-which-holds-all-things-and-apparently-isn't-heavy-at-all. If he thinks of that. 
So, okay, they're in the museum. Now they have to get through a crowd of art fans to get up close to Lisa. 
And even if they do get through...

And Ron or Hermione will be all, "Take the glass off, duh!" But by the time they're saying that they'll be being arrested or something. I'm sure there's some kind of law or something against trying to destroy the Mona Lisa. So I win again. Mwahahaha. 


SCORE
Larry Otter the Clueless Whiny Teenage Wizard Chosen One: 0
ZNZ the Evil: 2


Until next time, 
ZNZ the Evil

4 comments:

  1. Go ZNZ!

    I don't think I've read a single post of yours that didn't make me laugh. You're awesome.

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  2. Thanks, Olivia! You're so nice! :D

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  3. I LAUGHED OUT LOUD! LITERALLY! If someone heard me, they would've thought I was crazy. I am not off to hit the "follow" button and read Part One of your horcrux posts!

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  4. A new follower! Yay! I'm glad you like the post. :D

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