Cuttlefish, the Venomous Ninja Einsteins of the Sea

Arrrrrr, maties! Today be talk like a pirate day! But as a member of team ninja, who's always avoided those scurvy sea dogs (arrr), how am I to celebrate this day?

By talking about some of the truly awesome things that fill the sea.

Like cuttlefish.
Cuttlefish, like squid, octopodes, and nautiluses, are cephalopods, and not actually fish at all. What that means, according to Wikipedia, that they have "bilateral body symmetry, a prominent head, and a set of arms or tentacles (muscular hydrostats) modified from the primitive molluscan foot. Fishermen sometimes call them inkfish, referring to their common ability to squirt ink."

Now, squid are awesome, and no one's denying that. I've even eaten them, and they taste really good. Octopodes as well. But I submit that cuttlefish are the venomous ninja Einsteins of the sea. Just... imagine Einstein as an underwater ninja with poison spit. (And don't blame me for any nightmares that may ensue.)

Except that, unlike Einstein, cuttlefish are also really pretty and really colourful, and, let's face it, pretty darn adorable. 

Let's review those claims, and I can prove I'm not just saying random things:

Ninja: Cuttlefish can blend in with their surroundings like chameleons, thus escaping predators and also sneaking up on you to murder you. Furthermore? They can hide from you by squirting ink. These are ninjas all right. Notably, they're also more violent than their mollusc brethren, the only molluscs that are actually actively predatory.

Albert Einstein: Believe it or not, cuttlefish (and other cephalopods), are some of the most intelligent invertebrates. Cuttlefish, incidentally, also have the largest body-brain ratio. So... lots of room for added smarts! (Sadly, they aren't the only invertebrates to use tools. That honour goes to the octopodes. Alas. But hey, one species can't have all the awesomeness.)

Venomous: They actually really do have poison spit. I'm not even making this up. Or "bacterially-produced neurotoxins in their saliva," but it amounts to the same thing, right? Right? Also? Pfeffer's Flamboyant Cuttlefish (that's the bright red one further up) has got highly toxic compounds in its muscles.

Adorable, colourful, pretty: I'd like to refer you to the pictures up top.


Also the name is fun to say.



Moral: Cuttlefish are cooler than pirates, and I propose that we institute Talk Like a Cuttlefish Day. Or maybe just Act Like a Cuttlefish. On that day, we would all go around being quiet and intelligent and adorable and blending into the background when threatened.

Isn't that a better way to live than spending all one's time fighting and drinking and pillaging ships and being very noisy and stupid and ugly? I think it is.

This Talk Like a Pirate Day, let's all resolve to be a little more like cuttlefish and a lot less like pirates.

Who's with me?