The Horcruxes of ZNZ, Part One

Yup, I'm doing a series of blog posts! In seven parts, because, well, y'know, "Isn't seven the most powerfully magic number?" This series will describe my seven horcruxes (for people who are unfamiliar with Harry Potter: A horcrux is an object in which an evil wizard hides part of his or her soul in an attempt to gain immortality), and the Clueless Whiny Wizard Teenager Chosen One's attempts to destroy them. 
Disclaimer: I do not actually advocate either magic or the splitting of one's soul. Just in case you were wondering. So... yeah! 

For the purposes of this exercise, we shall call my enemy, The Clueless Whiny Wizard Teenager Chosen One, Larry Otter. 

No, silly, not Larry the Otter! Larry Otter!

This is Larry Otter. 

Larry Otter is entirely ZNZ's own creation.  Any resemblance to a certain Chosen One in a certain popular fantasy series is strictly coincidental. Really. Not lying. We promise.

Horcrux #1: My Laptop, Hex the Laptop of Doom, Insanity, and Despair (also known as Spot, also known as My Baby, also known as My Precioussss...)
Too obvious? Maybe so. Will Larry just run and stick his Sword of Gryffindor into it and run away? Probably. Am I still doing it? Oh yeah. Why? Um, I love the computer? *winning smile* Also, I am extremely careful about it, and it's extremely valuable to me, to the point that I call it The Horcrux anyway. But somehow, I don't think Larry will be convinced by my usual methods of protection: 

Because even Clueless Wizard Teenager Chosen Ones 
can have occasional moments of intelligence. 

But if I did it in a way which meant that you'd have to have intimate knowledge of computers in order to destroy the thing... well, mwahaha indeed. Larry, being a wizard, won't have the foggiest what to do! 

While Larry is trying to figure out Muggle technology, I'll leap out and capture him, and his best-friend-slash-sidekick who knows absolutely nothing about Muggles, too! 

Mwahahaha.


SCORE
Larry Otter the Clueless Whiny Teenage Wizard Chosen One: 0
ZNZ the Evil: 1

Until next time,
ZNZ the Evil