Percy Jackson: The Movie

Yummy yummy. 
(Image stolen from Wikipedia.)

It has been discovered that Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups are, indeed, the candy of the gods. Except for Demeter: She doesn't eat milk chocolate, as she is a vegan, and she thinks that dark chocolate is gross. Aphrodite tries not to eat too much candy so as not to gain weight, and Artemis is also concerned with healthy eating, but both enjoy them. 

Even ignoring the spoilerish-ness of this poster,
how is he not getting shocked? (Image stolen from here.)

The above came to me while eating said candy while watching Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. I had seen it before, but The Younger Sibling, having just finished the first three books, wanted to watch it. I enjoyed the books, but the movie is dreadful. The dialogue is cringe-worthy. Our Heroes are even more idiotic than they are in the books. Important characters are removed. Our Heroes are aged by at least three or four years, which is going to mess a lot up if they plan on making sequels. I felt like a lot of the humour of the books was gone. Not to mention that this whole other quest was added. A quest for Persephone's Pearls of Annoying Alliteration. All right, all right, just Persephone's Pearls. Apparently the pearls were created so that Persephone can have people over to visit more easily. These pearls allow them to escape: step on it and crush it while visualising where you want to go, and you're outa there! So Our Heroes embark on a quest to collect three of them. No one stops to think of the fact that they'll probably need another one for the person they're trying to rescue from the Underworld. But apparently the "visualise" bit is unnecessary, because when Our Heroes escape they don't bother to talk about where they want to go; nevertheless, they end up in the same place, a place to which Percy at least had no intention of going, but a place which is, coincidentally, the very place the plot requires them to be! *headdesk* 
Not only is the movie not true to the books, it's not true to the original myths, especially when they got to the Underworld. What the zark is Persephone doing in the Underworld in June? Why is Hades an evil dude living in a flame-filled pit and feeding people to souls? What happened to Cerberus? Why does Charon say that all lives end in suffering? 

Tell me that's not awesome. (Image Source.) 

Positiveness: I think a  good job was done of Medusa. She looked awesome with her snakes, and I think the funniest line in the whole movie is when she looks at Percy and says, "I used to date your daddy." I also liked the line "It's a pen." I enjoyed the Lotus Hotel and Casino as well. 
Overall, though, this movie is, as I said earlier, dreadful. I wouldn't bother watching it. 
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In other other news, I would like to issue an apology to the individual who came here searching "antigravitation archives." I am afraid that I am about as strong on that subject as I am on "notes about love for boyfriends." I am such a disappointing person, aren't I?