For English class, we were required to write speeches about ourselves. This is mine.
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You had better hope I go with the first option.
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Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Allow me to introduce myself. I am a traveling-encyclopedia-saleswoman-slash-swashbuckling-pirate, and my name is Queen George Washington III of Sheba. Actually, that was all lies; I’m also a pathological liar. I just can’t tell the truth. That was a lie too, so have fun working that one out.
All right, the truth is, my name is [ZNZ], as a very select few of you may know. I am thirteen years old, and fortunately I am not a triskaidekaphobe, otherwise I don’t know how I would get out of bed in the morning. I don’t know how I get out of the morning in any case, actually, but triskaidekaphobia would certainly exacerbate the problem.
My favorite subject at school is World Domination 101, or at least it would be if we were allowed to take it. Unfortunately, the teacher got imprisoned, so it’s not offered. As it is, it’s English, with Geometry as a close second. When not in school, I enjoy reading fantasy and science fiction, writing, wasting time on the Internet, making bombs and being an axe murderer. I also take tae kwon do. I’m extremely bad at it, however, so you don’t need to be scared of me.
I am an exceedingly sarcastic individual, as well as a pessimistic, anti-social and geeky one. I enjoy the usage of sesquipedalian locutions, and take great pains to never utilize a diminutive appellation where there exists a gargantuan one which would suffice. I have an odd sense of humor and a penchant for dark chocolate.
When I grow up, I plan to be either a writer or a supervillain.
I must say, I was happy to read that you are not a triskaidekaphobe. But, do you suffer from Paraskevidekatriaphobia? (I hope not!)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this blog post. I learned a new word (sesquipedalian) and discovered that you are a what Napoleon would have been if he was a 13 year old girl.
Oh, and reading about your favorite class reminded me of my all-time favorite quote from a short-lived TV show called "War of the Worlds." The villan (and you may use this today) says, "With any luck we will be rulers of the universe by lunch!" Isn't that the best line? Since you no longer have World Domination 101 class, you will have to take it as an independent study and using that line can help get you started.
This was a fun read. I look forward to your next post.
Muahahaha... hey! It's Leaf from the Chatterbox and I have just mysteriously found your blog. :) (Well, I was just browsing the Screnzy site you know, being somewhat of a stalker...) Anyway, I love the speech! Just curious, how many people in your class understand it? ;) I believe my friends would just stop listening halfway through and start thinking, "Big words, big words, world domination?!" Anyway, I'll start reading your blog more often now, since I love reading as many blogs as I can from people who are CBers and seeing into their exciting real lives. No, no, whatever you say, I am not a stalker! xD
ReplyDelete~Leaf
Matsu: I most definitely knew what paraskevidekatriaphobia was, and did not have to look it up, not at all. *quietly closes Google tab* I am thrilled to have taught someone a new word, I'm not quite sure how to take the Napoleon comment, I love your quote, and I'm glad you like the speech.
ReplyDeleteLeaf: Aaah stalker. *hides* XD No, it makes me happy to have you reading my blog. I'm glad you like the speech. I know my friends A and N understood it all, but I don't think anybody else did.